Gatxenhunquafkopgem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, passionate yak.

Gatxenhunquafkopgem created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatxenhunquafkopgem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gatxenhunquafkopgem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gatxenhunquafkopgem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gatxenhunquafkopgem's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.