Zimdangem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited newt.

Zimdangem created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Zimdangem, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zimdangem, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zimdangem's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zimdangem's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never mention otters.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing magenta shirts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your neck.