Dogwitwan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing unicorn.

Dogwitwan created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dogwitwan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dogwitwan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Dogwitwan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dogwitwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dogwitwan on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never feed nuts to bats while wearing shirts.