Yatvadhab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable troll.

Yatvadhab created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatvadhab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yatvadhab, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yatvadhab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yatvadhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Yatvadhab on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed onions to bats while wearing tights.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Pray towards the north.