Nillmabmin is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish fairy.

Nillmabmin created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nillmabmin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nillmabmin, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Nillmabmin's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nillmabmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nillmabmin on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.