Arfvenhom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured cobra.

Arfvenhom created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfvenhom, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arfvenhom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Arfvenhom's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Arfvenhom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near birds while wearing black corsets and balancing seven gold spheres on your face.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about squirrels.