Cetflankin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unjust dove.

Cetflankin created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetflankin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetflankin, he will turn you into a worm.

Cetflankin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cetflankin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cetflankin.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing four iron spheres on your arms.