Stipsafdub is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered rhinoceros.

Stipsafdub created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipsafdub, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stipsafdub, it will throw large rocks at you.

Stipsafdub's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Stipsafdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Never talk about optics near foxes while wearing turquoise hats and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.