Gepfagquim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving goose.

Gepfagquim created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfagquim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gepfagquim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gepfagquim's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gepfagquim's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill mice.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.