Govtadgar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, self-confident slug.

Govtadgar created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Govtadgar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govtadgar, he will ignore you.

Govtadgar's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Govtadgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not keep nine snakes in a large pit.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.