Dagrigveen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable tapir.

Dagrigveen created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagrigveen, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dagrigveen, he will turn you into a mole.

Dagrigveen's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dagrigveen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five tapirs approach from the east.

2. Never paint your head magenta.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.