Xucfitnurlbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring wolf.

Xucfitnurlbarn created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucfitnurlbarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xucfitnurlbarn, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Xucfitnurlbarn's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Xucfitnurlbarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Xucfitnurlbarn three times a day.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.