Woddussloop is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish monkey.

Woddussloop created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Woddussloop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Woddussloop, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Woddussloop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Woddussloop's Holy Commandments

1. Put Woddussloop first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Never wear mauve trousers.