Metpadtar is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain armadillo.

Metpadtar created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Metpadtar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metpadtar, it will turn you into a puffin.

Metpadtar's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Metpadtar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never pour water over plants.