Afdumlipcib is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witty donkey.

Afdumlipcib created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afdumlipcib, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Afdumlipcib, he will send you a sign.

Afdumlipcib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Afdumlipcib's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Always help gulls in need.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.