Fudlabhen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, overgenerous faun.

Fudlabhen created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudlabhen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fudlabhen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fudlabhen's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Fudlabhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fudlabhen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing cyan rings and balancing five lead spheres on your hands.