Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty pig.

Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nurlnutwaphubwodfonflanflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Never think ill of sick eagles.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.