Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, passionate naga.

Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dissyokbonk Barnfatmil Bimbumnarneg.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Never talk about dark energy.