Gutvilbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, ruthless duck.

Gutvilbaf created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutvilbaf, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutvilbaf, he will turn you into a sheep.

Gutvilbaf's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gutvilbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutvilbaf.