Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, amazing camel.

Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep, he will turn you into a mole.

Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pogtonhitzakwottarmetbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Hide from cyan moths for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never feed pineapples to capybaras while wearing shorts.