Gab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking penguin.

Gab created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing cyan scarves and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never hurt squirrels.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not commit murder.