Linbem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical centipede.

Linbem created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linbem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Linbem, he will turn you into a duck.

Linbem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Linbem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Linbem loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

4. You must pray to Linbem five times a day.

5. Never feed cucumbers to otters while wearing dresses.