Mumxinhug is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured jackal.

Mumxinhug created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Mumxinhug, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Mumxinhug, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Mumxinhug's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Mumxinhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide from gray turtles for they are unholy.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

5. Always wear blue.