Quatcanfat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omniscient octopus.

Quatcanfat created the Sunflower Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatcanfat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatcanfat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Quatcanfat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Quatcanfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to hamsters while wearing tights.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Put Quatcanfat first in all things.

5. Quatcanfat must be the most important thing in your life.