Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy weasel.

Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jarnbus Gepnigfutomintardabnarleg Ontbapcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Never wear trousers.