Natsakfod is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving narwhal.

Natsakfod created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Natsakfod, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Natsakfod, he will come to you in dreams.

Natsakfod's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Natsakfod's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Natsakfod.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Never look at stars.