Siscentar Botwatcun is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fast hamster.

Siscentar Botwatcun created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Siscentar Botwatcun, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Siscentar Botwatcun, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Siscentar Botwatcun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Siscentar Botwatcun's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.