Flagtunlam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome butterfly.

Flagtunlam created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtunlam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flagtunlam, he will torture you forever.

Flagtunlam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flagtunlam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Flagtunlam.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never wear blue scarves.