Hamjigsug is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm aardvark.

Hamjigsug created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamjigsug, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamjigsug, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hamjigsug's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hamjigsug's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hamjigsug.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Never paint your neck red.

5. Never bounce near cats.