Honvedwit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, intelligent crow.

Honvedwit created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honvedwit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Honvedwit, he will destroy your favourite star.

Honvedwit's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Honvedwit's Holy Commandments

1. Honvedwit loves horses, so they must be honoured.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Honvedwit on top of all buildings.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never talk about optics.