Dubteen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, kind giraffe.

Dubteen created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubteen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dubteen, he will torture you forever.

Dubteen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Dubteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt nematodes.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Run away from turquoise eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.