Omtgabvig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous porpoise.

Omtgabvig created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtgabvig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtgabvig, she will turn you into a goat.

Omtgabvig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Omtgabvig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Omtgabvig first in all things.

2. Never eat garlic.

3. Erect three silver sculptures of Omtgabvig on top of important buildings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help badgers.