Kabmippadxin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless hydra.

Kabmippadxin created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabmippadxin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabmippadxin, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kabmippadxin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Kabmippadxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Respect your elders.