Nurtarpnutt is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic sheep.

Nurtarpnutt created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtarpnutt, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurtarpnutt, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nurtarpnutt's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurtarpnutt's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nurtarpnutt.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Nurtarpnutt must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.