Hogpakbog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, strong hippopotamus.

Hogpakbog created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogpakbog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hogpakbog, she will not care.

Hogpakbog's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hogpakbog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hogpakbog first in all things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogpakbog.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about nebulae.