Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful snail.

Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib, he will turn you into a dog.

Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gedzagdobvonk Yartsadlib's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Do not make images of living things.