Lenquaffet is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable monkey.

Lenquaffet created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lenquaffet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lenquaffet, it will be very sad.

Lenquaffet's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Lenquaffet's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat limes.