Fadflabmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciless dryad.

Fadflabmeg created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadflabmeg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fadflabmeg, she will turn you into a tree.

Fadflabmeg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fadflabmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Fadflabmeg loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.