Tabsugceptikbusbell is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful gerbil.

Tabsugceptikbusbell created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabsugceptikbusbell, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tabsugceptikbusbell, it will remove you from existence.

Tabsugceptikbusbell's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tabsugceptikbusbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Put Tabsugceptikbusbell first in all things.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about planets.