Monzanomt is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, kind chicken.

Monzanomt created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monzanomt, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Monzanomt, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Monzanomt's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Monzanomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Monzanomt's name in vain.

2. Always obey Monzanomt's priests.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Hide if three manatees approach from the east.

5. Never talk about special relativity.