Padstigrenhasrill is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust swan.

Padstigrenhasrill created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Padstigrenhasrill, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Padstigrenhasrill, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Padstigrenhasrill's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Padstigrenhasrill's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Padstigrenhasrill in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing mauve tights.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away from white cats, for they are unholy.