Mifvegpon is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able giraffe.

Mifvegpon created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mifvegpon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mifvegpon, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mifvegpon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Mifvegpon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Mifvegpon on top of all buildings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.