Podmisbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, grumpy mole.

Podmisbonk created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Podmisbonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Podmisbonk, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Podmisbonk's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Podmisbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.