Homvigcan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty finch.

Homvigcan created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homvigcan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Homvigcan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Homvigcan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Homvigcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Homvigcan.