Dutkenlad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful eagle.

Dutkenlad created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutkenlad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dutkenlad, he will turn you into a mouse.

Dutkenlad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dutkenlad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange geese for they are unholy.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Worship no other gods but Dutkenlad.