Nattamdit Lidarfkad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome dove.

Nattamdit Lidarfkad created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Nattamdit Lidarfkad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nattamdit Lidarfkad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nattamdit Lidarfkad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nattamdit Lidarfkad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.

2. Put Nattamdit Lidarfkad first in all things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help goats.