Ratnabgar Shavbamflis is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful aardvark.

Ratnabgar Shavbamflis created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratnabgar Shavbamflis, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ratnabgar Shavbamflis, she will manifest in front of you.

Ratnabgar Shavbamflis' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ratnabgar Shavbamflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never wear boots.