Tondosscetwee is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tondosscetwee created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tondosscetwee, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tondosscetwee, he will turn you into a duck.

Tondosscetwee's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tondosscetwee's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.