Tomnab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful grasshopper.

Tomnab created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomnab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tomnab, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tomnab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tomnab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tomnab.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Do not hurt turtles.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.