Flowzakmit is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody crab.

Flowzakmit created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Flowzakmit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flowzakmit, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flowzakmit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Flowzakmit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not kill snakes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Do not hurt horses.